I had held a serious passion for art for a long time. I enjoyed doing it as a hobby so I believed it would make a fitting career. I faced quite a bit of backlash from my family and peers alike. My artwork, compared to others my age, didn't meet the standards everyone held for me. Instead of giving up, I took this as a challenge to improve my craft.
I dove headfirst into art tutorials. I studied the styles of other artists I admired. I consulted with my peers to receive constructive criticism regarding my pieces. In a little less than two months, I had achieved rapid improvement. By the sixth month, I was conquering roadblocks in my artwork that had once held me down. Things like anatomy had greatly challenged me, but no longer. You never stop improving as an artist. That was journey I walked for quite some time.
I have been in online spaces for as long as I've had internet access, much to the chagrin of my mother. She would put restrictions in place on our family computer, then later my personal computers. I was technically savvy and very quickly discovered system vulnerabilities to bypass these restrictions, whether by code or by manipulating administrative controls.
My point being, I was determined to participate in these online spaces. Thus, I have seen the good and the bad that the internet has to offer. Long ago, I found the internet to be a brighter place. I believe now that it has lost the magic it once had. Online discussions have always been something of a mixed bag, but you're more likely to find negativity now than you were years ago.
Being a digital artist in this day and age demands that you market yourself. I was determined to make things work on my own. Much like my determination to learn proper drawing techniques, I read various books on business, listened to podcasts, and read up on advice online that others had used to grow their platforms. I was able to find consistent ways to attract viewers.
This sort of work is exhausting. Being an online presence demands that you, yourself, are one of the reasons people come around. If you can get somebody attached to the persona, they are more likely to become a loyal customer. It is a one-sided relationship. One I felt incredibly uncomfortable engaging in after a while. I had no desire to constantly play a character. I am human. I make mistakes. On the internet, mistakes are your worst nightmare. The internet demands perfect people.
No one is perfect. I needed room to make mistakes. It is the only way I could grow. Additionally, pursuing art as a career ruined my relationship with it. I was no longer creating the things I wanted to make, but focusing on what others wanted to see. Drawing things that I did not want to draw. I wanted to heal the relationship I had with art and to do that, I needed to stop profiting from it. So I did.
But in doing so, I had lost the career path I had followed since I was a teenager. What was my plan moving forward? Luckily, I had plenty of time to think about it, as I was just about to move up to Ontario.
I toyed with the idea of publishing novels for a career. Sadly, I ran into a similar problem with writing that I did with art. I would need a public presence and I would be writing what others wanted to see. Ultimately, I decided I would still publish my stories online, but on Neocities; a website-hosting platform that allows its users to publish their own customized websites. I liked the idea of others finding my stories by chance instead of advertising them. I felt it flowed well into the discovery aspect of Neocities.
I did not know how to code a website. So I sat myself down and with the help of Codecademy and W3Schools I was able to create the site you see now. This site was built on the foundation of the Neocities site I initially intended to publish. It never fulfilled its true purpose, but I believe it's better suited for a portfolio.
While I was learning to program, I took an interest in Linux. A long time ago, an old customer of mine had brought up the idea of me installing Linux onto my computer. Something I was hesitant to do since I didn't understand it. A friend of mine had also installed Linux and seemed to be enjoying it. I had been meaning to factory reset my computer anyway so I decided to give Linux Mint a try. Which only worked after days of troubleshooting.
I started to read up on Linux. I gained a deeper appreciation of open-source software and privacy. Installing Linux was the rabbit hole I fell into to get to the interest I have with cybersecurity. I polished my own personal cybersecurity habits online and attempted to get others to do the same. I found an immense amount of pleasure of installing protective walls between me and what I wanted to protect.
I had always had some basic interest in programming. I had been programming very basic visual-novels in Ren'Py since I was fourteen. Programming my own website was a rewarding challenge for me. So when I started to explore the path of cybersecurity, I found myself hooked.